Staging Mysteries
by Elifelntine
Summary: Houtarou isn't a detective, he's a fake. But he's a fake that's searching for love whilst saving energy. (I just suddenly wondered what if everything was staged, and this happened.)


I have a confession to make. I'm in love with Chitanda Eru. I didn't want to admit it at first but soon all my actions were pointed towards her happiness, so it became inevitable that I admit it at least to myself, if not to anyone else, and least of all, Chitanda herself. The other thing that took trouble admitting, even to myself, was that it was love at first sight. The sheer moment when our eyes met in the Geology Room was the moment I believed that my heart beat for the first time. After all, most overwhelming feelings were far too tiring. I guess the first time I was made mildly aware of my affection for this lovely lady was after the "Silk Spider Club Case", which I had made up to satisfy her abundant curiosity, and to save myself energy. After that, I began to stage lots of cases, just to satisfy Chitanda's never-ending curiosity, the first one being, "The Popular Library Book no one reads".

It was quite simple when it came to asking Mayaka to provide the case details to Chitanda. While we didn't always get on the best of terms, I had been there for her through countless break ups before Satoshi, wiping away her tears, and simply listening to how she had been too stupid to realise the potential lover was really a jerk in disguise. Mayaka, who had appreciated those times, and had had no one else to turn to, owed me one, and this library book case, which required little work, she was more than willing to do. After all, it only required asking a senpai in the Manga Society about such a book, and then presenting the mystery to Chitanda. Neither of us would speak of it to Satoshi. Of course, when I felt ashamed, it wasn't that we hid the truth from Satoshi, but rather that we both knew that the real goal was to make Chitanda trust and like me. It was also Mayaka, who offered our accommodation for our trip to the hot springs, and probably conspired with her cousins to create "The Hanging Ghost Case". It didn't' even occur to me that it was fake until halfway passing out after collapsing in the hot springs, she winked at me. That was when I knew Mayaka was on my side. Eventually, I would have to repay her favours by hooking her up with Satoshi. Or at least making Satoshi admit to himself that he liked her. I didn't need to be a detective to know that.

I realised that I may have dug myself too deep when Chitanda asked me to help her remember what her uncle, Sekitani Jun, had said to her when she was a child. I tried to insist that I had found all the previous solutions to our "cases" by luck, but in the end, her sorrowful expression as she tried and failed to remember exactly what it was that had made her burst into tears that day, was too much for me. I couldn't refuse her. The last thing I wanted was to make Chitanda unhappy. Surprisingly, I did manage to help her, though I truly believe that this was truly luck. After all, there was no guarantee that her uncle's parting words to the Classics Club, "Hyouka" (I scream), would make her remember anything. Coming across the solution to the entire Sekitani Jun Cultural Festival Incident surprised me, especially after the confirmation from the library, Itoikawa-sensei that my theory was correct. After all, it had simply been a theory. In fact, it was probably one of the only theories that I'd happened to think up.

Asking Irisu-senpai to help me with my selfish cause may have been a step too far, but not only did I succeed in finding a suitable ending for their mystery movie, but Chitanda's opinion of me seemed to skyrocket. In addition, the entry of the Classics Club to "solve" their mystery allowed Hongou-senpai to step back and rest, which was another bonus. Solving cases to which I generally already knew the answers to saved a lot of energy when it came to satisfying Chitanda's curiosity, or so I thought. Lately, I'd become less sure of this. However, after "The Kudryavka Sequence", I realised I had hit an obstacle that was going to be harder to deal with than guilt of lying to Chitanda again and again, especially since lying resulted in even more affection from the only girl I'd ever really liked. It became clear that Satoshi was jealous of my success. If I told Satoshi the truth, that I'd staged each and every mystery, then it was likely that he would be very angry. Furious even. Although Satoshi was generally happy, I was unsure of whether he would change as a result of discovering the truth. It was possible the truth would stop him from being jealous. Or it might make it worse, knowing Satoshi, I think that he'll end up being unsure whether to be unhappy that I solved the mystery or unhappy that I masterminded the whole thing. Perhaps it was better if he just never knew. I'd find a way to boost his confidence some other time. Stage even more mysteries for HIM to solve.

Besides, I had an even bigger problem on my mind. How was I supposed to tell Chitanda that I liked her anyway?


End file.
